Dear Mann Landers,

I was at the bar the other night, when a friend of mine texted me for directions.  At the moment I was speaking with a girl, and quickly texted him back before continuing on the conversation.  After the text, the girl I was talking to made a joke about how off-side it was to text in the middle of a conversation, but I could tell she was fairly serious.  I agree that it would have been ideal to not text during a conversation, but should I have left my friend stranded and lost?  Hasn’t using your phone as needed become standard operating?

Sincerely,

H8ed 4 Txting in London

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Dear H8ed 4 Txting (I can’t believe you just made me write that name),

I agree that using your phone at any moment has become the standard.  In fact, you can almost feel lame if you are the only one at the bar not on their phone.  But, I still don’t think that makes it right. 

I know we live in a world of immediate gratification, but there are some things that require you to delay gratification.  You wouldn’t just start humping the leg of a girl you found attractive, or feel okay about urinating at the dinner table.  And, let’s not forget that you have a sphincter for a reason.  Try and apply the same logic here.

There’s no reason you need to check your phone immediately whenever it goes off.  If you’re talking to someone at the bar, at least feign interest in the conversation and don’t check your phone.  My rule of thumb is that you should only look at your phone during bathroom breaks.  Someone’s calling you?  Let it ring – you’re under no obligation to pick up, and if you do pick up the person you are talking to has a right to be unimpressed.  You’ve unintentionally told them that they are less interesting than giving your friend directions. 

Still unconvinced?  Think of it this way:  You earn much more respect from someone when your phone rings, and you tell them “It’s okay – I’ll get it later.  I’m finding this really interesting!”   than you ever would from your friend waiting on the other end of the phone.

“But my boss might be calling me!”  If that’s the case, give your significant callers a special ring.  You know as well as I do that the call/text is much more likely to be something unimportant like “I’m late”.  (Note: I’m assuming your girlfriend wouldn’t inform you of her ‘cycle’ status via text).

Do you need to do this?  No.  In fact, you will be unique in this approach.  But, unique in a good way.  It might even be a trait that sets you apart as a gentleman.  A gentleman that can go allllll night long!…. without checking his phone.

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers