Dear Mann Landers,
I’m in my mid-twenties and don’t have any problem meeting girls. I go on dates, I’ve had quite a few girlfriends, and I’ve had my fair share of one night stands. So what’s my problem? I don’t want to be dating girls, I want to date a woman. And by a woman I mean an older woman. I seriously pine for women above the age of 35. I’ll take an attractive 40 year-old soccer mom over a 20 year old bombshell any day.
Is it normal to have such desires for older women? How do I admit this to my friends and family?
Thanks,
Craving a Cougar, in Colorado
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Dear Craving a Cougar,
It’s obvious you’re suffering from a brutal oedipal complex – in other words, you so badly want to have sex with your own mother that you’re lusting after women who share her age and looks.
If that’s not the case, then you definitely have a severe attachment disorder – as a child, you weren’t held enough by your own mother, so now you’re seeking a mother-like figure to fill that void. You need help.
Relax! I’m kidding. Here’s what I really think …
It’s normal to be attracted to a desirable older woman. And it’s okay to want to pursue woman over the age of 35. Heck, if you want to drive by the old folks home during outdoor shuffleboard season to check out eligible widows, I’m fine with that too. What’s important is that you’re happy with who you are and the decisions you make. If you let other people control your life, you won’t be happy. And, if your friends won’t accept you for who you are, they’re not your friends.
It is also worth noting that a societal shift has occurred in the last decade, as indicated by the deluge of new terms, such that pursuing a partner twice your age is no longer only acceptable for 20-something females. Even the name “Cougar,” which achieved notoriety on the back of Demi Moore, is no longer enough to define the myriad of acceptable love combinations. Take for example:
- Puma – a cougar in training; a woman in her early thirties who enjoys younger men.
- Milf – Mother I’d Like to Fuck
- Gilf – Grandmother I’d Like to Fuck.
- RRilf - Retirement-home Resident I‘d Like to Fuck.
- Mountain Goat – An attractive 50+ year-old woman who views younger men as “new mountains to climb”.
- Arctic Fox – a grey haired post-menopausal woman who pursues younger men.
- VPilf – If Sarah Palin became Vice President of the U.S., this undoubtedly would have been her title.
Each group has merit in their own right and offers an attractive option for an array of young male lovers. Furthermore, older women have been exalted in mainstream media like never before. Case in point, consider Bill Simmons’ “Diane Lane All-Stars” (about halfway down the page) - a baseball batting order and bullpen of 40-something year-old Hollywood women (hilarious and true!). Jennifer Aniston? Uh, yes. Cindy Crawford, anyone? - Fo sho. Diane Lane? Fuck yeah. Halle Berry? Seconds, please. You would be a fool not to lust for a roster like the one Mr. Simmons has compiled.
In conclusion, I completely agree that older women possess a certain intangible allure - their experience, confidence and no-nonsense attitude is unquestionably appealing. So, if dating older women is what you want, I say get out there, hit a home-run and bag yourself a cougar.
You’re welcome,
Mann Landers
