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Lack of Name Game

Dear Mann Landers,

I’m terrible with names. I feel like every time I get introduced to a stunning girl at a party or bar, I end up getting caught up in her beauty - and her name slips in one ear and out the other. As a result, I make a poor 1st impression when I open with “Sorry - what’s your name again?” later in the evening.

Suggestions?

Sincerely,

Name Impaired, in Indianapolis

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Dear Name Impaired,

One of the most flattering things you can do is remember a woman’s name - it conveys one thing loud and clear … your interest in her!

It takes genuine effort to block out distractions (e.g. her breasts) in order to take in her name. Common etiquette only grants you one “I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name?”, and you’ve only got a 10 second buffer in which to do so - act quickly!

That said, getting her name is far different than learning her name. Here are my tips on learning her name, using the 5 most popular baby girl names of 2010:

First - are you are better remembering images or sounds? 

Better with images?

Create an image associated with her name and link it to a physical characteristic of hers.

  1. Sophia: picture soap lathered all over Sophia’s long legs 
  2. Isabella: picture Isabella holding two ice cold Stellas … naked
  3. Olivia: picture Olivia sucking the pimento out of an olive with her sexy mouth
  4. Emma: picture Emma’s boobs painted to look like M&M’s
  5. Chloe: picture Chloe’s captivating eyes glowing (chloe-ing?) at night

Better with sounds?

Make a rhyme associating her name with your first impression of her. 

  1. Sophia: Sophia, Sophia I want to bone you in my Kia
  2. Isabella: Gonna be my Isa-bella ella-ella, ay ay ay, Gonna be my Isabella ella-ella, ay ay ay 
  3. Olivia: Olivia I wanna be in ‘ya
  4. Emma: Emma the boner you’re giving me at this party is causing a dilemma
  5. Chloe:Chloe you should know me” - spoken by your penis in your imagination

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers

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