Dear Mann Landers,

I don’t get art - but the girl I’m into likes art. How can I fake being into art… to the point that I can fit in with her artsy friends.

Sincerely,

Art Schfart, in Arizona

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Dear Art Schfart,

Faking that you’re into art is like faking that you’re into drinking scotch… it doesn’t work. Eventually your audience will catch you gagging.

Art is like scotch in another way too - they’re both acquired tastes. Ask any scotch drinker and they’ll give you the same advice - you need to learn by drinking the good stuff. 

It’s hard to acquire a palette that appreciates scotch when you’re drinking something closely resembling paint thinner (wrapped in a scotch label and a $10 price tag).

Similarly, it’s hard to acquire a palette for fine art when you’re attending a showing (kegger) held in a cookie-cutter unfinished space with a catering menu consisting of sour cream & onion, all-dressed chips, and extreme heat Doritos. 

So leave your preconceived notions behind and surprise your girl by getting tickets to a higher end gallery in your city. You might be surprised by how some of the more renowned work makes you feel! 

If you STILL hate even the great stuff? Not to worry… that just means you’re a natural art critic with an extremely (overly?) distinguished palette. <— people get paid for that!

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers