Providing relationship advice from a male's perspective since early 2010. Email your relationship queries to AskMannLanders@gmail.com. Join me on Facebook, or follow me on Twitter. Please spread my message to any friends in need. I post on Mon/Wed/Fri. I look forward to bettering your life. *Note that I am in no way affiliated with the late Ann Landers.

Mar21

The #1 Thing Guys Do Wrong

Dear Mann Landers,

What is the #1 complaint you hear from ladies about what men are doing wrong? Bad manners? Lame fashion style? Neglected manscaping?  

Sincerely,

One Step at a Time, in Tampa Bay

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Dear One Step at a Time,

Sometimes a simple question like yours can offer up the greatest opportunity to highlight a major issue for the masses. The answer?

  • Bad Manners? No. If you’ve got poor manners, a lady is going to ignore you from the outset
  • Lame Fashion Sense? No. A lot of ladies take pleasure in correcting their man’s style anyways.
  • Neglected Manscaping? No. I’m glad you mentioned it though, because the major problem is somewhat related. Allow me to explain…

I’m all for grooming your nether regions, but don’t you think you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself? Unless you’re looking to woo a female comic book hero with x-ray vision (or you walk around pantsless), having a bonsai-tree-like pubic zone is not going to get you ahead in the game of love.

You know what will? Getting a $20 mani-pedi.

Ya that’s right - if you spent half as much time/money on your fingernails & toenails as you did on styling your genitalia you’d get more girls. Fingernails/Toenails are the #1 thing guys do wrong.

Ask 100 girls what their worst love making nightmare is, and 99 of them will say that it’s the thought of a guy with long fingernails attempting to “press her buttons” (if you catch my drift). Toenails are important too! Nothing ruins post-coital cuddling like an open wound on her leg caused by a slash from your machete-like big toe.

Stop buying special attachments for your electric shaver. Get a $20 mani-pedi. You’ll get more bang for your buck (literally).

It’s good to be back.

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers

PS. As I mentioned - I’ve likely scorned many past readers with my prolonged absence. I’m going to teach myself computer programming today in hopes of installing a Facebook share/Like button on my column. In the meantime if you deem it worthy… I’d be honored if you shared this link on Facebook and encouraged your friends to check out my column.