Mr. Mann,

I know that this site is mostly for men, actually, just for men but I can’t help myself with noticing that you give great advice. I am in a bit of a situation with a guy I like and I would like some advice from..a guy. Girls can only give so much advice that is actually helpful.

Anyway, i met this guy working at a Kids Camp this summer and we really hit it off. We flirted back and forth all that week. He is a couple years older than me but that hadn’t seem to bother either of us. After the camp was over we exchanged numbers and have continued to text to this very day. 

Just within the last week he has started calling me “Bud”. I have no clue what that means in guy language but in Girl code that brings you into a friend zone.

Please bring me some clarity,

Dazed and Confused 

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Dear Dazed and Confused,

First to be clear, when a guy calls you “bud”, “friend”, or anything at all, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything.  He could call you “Slutty McSlut Slut” and it probably wouldn’t mean much.  Some guys tend to do stupid things like this as either an attempt to flirt, or for the same reason they will attempt to re-enact Jackass 3D – they’re just not thinking straight. Rather than wasting your time analyzing what he means by how he greets you, judge your relationship based on how he treats you (no rhyme intended).  What’s important here is context, so let’s examine the context that you’ve given me to work with…

It’s nearly November.  You met this guy in the summer, and for a week and engaged in some flirting.  One week, three to five months ago (depending on when in the summer) and since then you’ve moved on to texting regularly?  I assume this means you’re not living in the same city, otherwise you would actually… you know… see him in person.

Here’s a list of questions you need to answer before going any further:

1) Do you live in the same city?  If you do, why are you texting regularly and not seeing each other regularly?

2) Did you actually hit it off, or are you only selectively remembering the times he flirted with you, and forgetting the moments he was less than interested?

3) What has prevented this relationship from going beyond texts?  

4) Does your texting involve sexting?

I understand hearing “bud” and wondering what it means.  Sometimes that can throw you for a loop.  What is really more important here though is the fact that your relationship is based on texting, which means if this was the 1980s, you would either be pen pals, or not communicating – not exactly the hot and heavy romance you might be dreaming of.  Push for more interaction, or resolve to being the 21st century version of a pen-pal.

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers