Dear Mann Landers,

I have a crush on my Starbucks barista. I see her every morning, and I often return in the early afternoon to catch her before her shift ends for round two.

We seem to have great chemistry!

How do I get past the customer/barista relationship and transition to a Romeo/Juliet relationship?

Sincerely,

Grande Americano Misto, in Memphis

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Dear Grande Americano Misto,

I welcome this question with open arms, as I’d imagine there are a lot of Barista Crushes out there.

First things first - go for it!

You’ll want to avoid asking her out during stressful situations like when she’s working the cash or while she’s relaying the orders from the cash to the person concocting the drinks. I can’t even imagine how stressful it must be to translate “Grande Low Fat Half Sweet No Foam Latte with Soy in a Venti Cup, Double Sleeved” into a few check marks on a paper cup.

Your best case scenario is to wait until she’s working the “finishing touches” part of the production line. There’s something sexy about the act of frothing milk, dusting something with powdered chocolate, or drizzling caramel in a delicate pattern. Waiting for this moment is your best bet to catch her in the right state of mind.

Here are some options:

• Corny - as she hands you your coffee, pretend to get all flustered and say “shit, I hate when I forget to ask for something” to which she’ll surely respond “don’t worry! what did you forget?” … to which you respond “I meant to ask you for your number so we can hang sometime” … be sure to have a pen readily available.
• Sweet & Discreet - pass her a note. Have it read “I can’t lie to you anymore. I hate coffee. I come here for you. Text me your number so we can do lunch this week (555) 555-5555.”

If your attempt doesn’t work … thankfully there is a Starbucks on every major street corner.

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers