January 2010
10 posts
Playing the "Friendship Dump" card
Dear Mann Landers,
I am seeing someone new and things are great. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. The only downside is her friends. She calls them her “sisters,” I call them trashy bar-stars. When she is with them she completely transforms, for the worse. If I don’t do something soon I fear the constant gossip and incessant bitching will be the end of me. What is etiquette...
Projecting his "manhood"
Dear Mann Landers,
I love it when you answer questions from girls ; ) Pick me! Pick me!
I recently expressed interest in buying a new car to my boyfriend. He was all for it until he found out that I wanted a Mini Cooper which he deems a chick car. It’s not so much of an issue right now (since it will be my car after all), but he’s worried that my car will turn into “our” car if we decide...
Guilty of "being perfect"
Dear Mann Landers,
I’m writing to you on what should have been a relaxing Sunday evening. Let me start by stating - I am nothing short of the perfect husband. Honest! I bust my tail at work to ensure that my wife can have the lifestyle she deserves. I handle my fair share of chores around the house. I cook for her. I tickle her back in bed (because it helps her fall asleep). I go to the...
1 tag
Using the girlfriend's bathroom
Dear Mann Landers,
Recently, I have been having the most foul smelling bathroom visits. I spend much of my time at my girlfriend’s place who shares an apartment and one bathroom with three other ladies. How can I maintain any genteel credibility while not ignoring the most basic bodily function?
Sincerely,
Backed up, in Dayton
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A girl that's "semi" curious
Dear Mann Landers,
Love reading your column - as a woman, I think we’d all be better off if Mann Landers was required reading for every man out there ; )
I thought that you’d be able to answer a question that has plagued me for years. My ex-boyfriend used to get half-erections all the time - at work, in the park, at the pub, etc. It didn’t bother me or anything, but I never...
Easy "breezy" in the windy city
Dear Mann Landers,
I wouldn’t describe myself as an overly gassy man, but like everyone I have good days and bad. I have been seeing a girl for six months now, and passing wind is not part of our relationship. Is there a tactful way to go about farting in front of my girlfriend, so as to cause minimal disruption to our young love? Will my internal discomfort ever be reason enough to make her...
A "digi flirt" master. A real-life square.
Dear Mann Landers,
My mastery of digital forms of flirting is unrivalled … my friends attribute all of my over-achievements with women to witty wall posts, brilliant bbms, and textually-charged text messages.
It never fails, every weekend my phone is buzzing off the hook with texts, bbms and facebook messages from a roster of beautiful women that would make a Victoria’s Secret...
A "someday girl" worth keeping
Dear Mann Landers,
I have been pining for this girl I briefly dated years ago - 7 years, 4 months, 17 days, 4 hours and 23 minutes ago to be exact. No girl I’ve met since ever seems to measure up. We’ve always stayed in touch, but have never resided in the same city, so the past 7+yrs have been littered with texts, emails, facebook pokes and when the stars align we’ll connect...
Develop a "deep spike" to overcome a weakness
Dear Mann Landers,
I’ve completely fallen for a beautiful girl that happens to be an incredibly talented ”triple threat” artist -musician, actress, and dancer. My taste in music is largely influenced by Ryan Seacrest, my taste in movies is driven by commercial marketing, and I dance like a male version of Elaine Benes. Am I screwed?
Sincerely,
Triply Inept, in Los Angeles
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The "I'm too sexy reversal" maneuver
Dear Mann Landers, I’m going to a sporting event with a girl that is way too hot for me. She’ll probably bail on me after the game. Should I just make plans with my friends anyways, in the event she doesn’t bail, I can just bring her along? Sincerely, Lacking Confidence, in Toronto ********************************************************************** Dear Lacking Confidence, I’d recommend that...