April 2011
10 posts
Morning Bass
Dear Mann Landers
When I wake up in the morning my voice is about 4 octaves lower than my normal everyday voice. I can hardly distinguish the words coming out of my own mouth, so I can’t imagine any girl being able to comprehend my morning pillow talk flirting.
What can I do to remedy the situation?
Sincerely,
Chocolate Rain, in Chicago
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Double Standard "Woe is Me"
Dear Mann Landers,
I’m a female reader. Why is there a double standard when it comes to the age difference in the dating world?
If a 27yr old guy dates a 20yr old girl… no big deal. If a 27yr old girl dates a 20yr old guy… it’s the end of the world!
What gives?
Sincerely,
Curious Person, in Toronto
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Summer Lovin'
Dear Mann Landers,
I went on vacation last week and met this guy. We really hit it off, and one thing led to another… yada yada yada. I won’t lie to you, I knew in advance that he had a girlfriend, but I figured it was a vacation and these things often happen. But, we live in the same city. I’m a little lost about how to deal with this situation. I feel guilty, but also like this guy...
Dating a Successful Girlfriend
Dear Mann Landers,
My girlfriend is incredibly successful. I am not.
My girlfriend keeps getting more and more successful. I do not.
I’m starting to feel insecure. Should I aim to keep up? Should I settle into the role of 2nd highest paid in the household?
I just want to keep her around!
Sincerely,
Eating Her Dust, in Denver
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Solving Red Wine Mouth
Dear Mann Landers,
I love drinking red wine on dates - it gives me just the right buzz and there is something classy about spinning your wine in the glass and pontificating before taking a sip.
The problem is that it turns my entire mouth and lips dark purple! Surely that is a turn-off to women…
What should I do?
Big Red, in Indiana
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Cracking her Facebook Friends List
Dear Mann Landers,
There is this girl I have a crush on, but she doesn’t know who I am. I guess you could say she is in my peripheral friends circles and I see her all the time at parties. But I am far too shy to approach her. Since we have mutual friends should I just try adding her to facebook and try to start things off that way? It sure would make my life easier, but I also don’t want to look...
Hail Mary
Dear Mann Landers,
First off, I love reading your column. I feel it makes me a better girlfriend/woman-friend/lover, etc. I was dumped a few weeks back by a long distance boyfriend who is a major pro football fan. While we were dating, I lovingly cheered his team on wearing their colors, watching games, and even memorizing players’ stats. He gave me some basketball shorts with the team...
4 tags
Passion for Pashmina Salesperson
Dear Mann Landers,
I bought my mom a pashmina for Christmas from a little boutique pashmina shop. The girl that works there is so hot… SOOO HOT!
I still walk by that boutique pashmina shop from time to time - she’s always working there. The problem? I have no reason to go into a boutique pashmina shop until June (my mom’s birthday) at the earliest!
How can I make something...
4 tags
Ethnic Food for Thought
Dear Mann Landers,
I’m not a virgin - but I feel like one in a way. I’ve only ever been with one race. I’m white, and I’ve been with a white girl for 7 years. I find myself drawn to other ethnicities more and more with each passing day.
Should I just be honest with my girlfriend and ask for some space? During some “time a part” I could then explore these...
Loosening lips...
Mann,
My lady friend and I have great sex. We do it regularly and she’s into almost anything. One problem however, is her inability to talk dirty. I want to laugh when she tries to turn me on: “ooh, you bad boy”, “I’ve been such a dirty girl”, and so on and so forth. What can you suggest to help me out?
Acoustically frustrated, in...
March 2011
6 posts
The baboon compass
Dear Mann Landers,
Since your disappearance, I haven’t been so well off when it comes to the ladies. I am but a mere college student awash in a sea of attractive ladies, with no source of brilliant expertise to guide me. My current woman-of-choice has been giving me a fair amount of trouble. Y’see, I feel she is giving me mixed signals.
We first met after a chance encounter on an...
3 tags
Lack of Name Game
Dear Mann Landers,
I’m terrible with names. I feel like every time I get introduced to a stunning girl at a party or bar, I end up getting caught up in her beauty - and her name slips in one ear and out the other. As a result, I make a poor 1st impression when I open with “Sorry - what’s your name again?” later in the evening.
Suggestions?
Sincerely,
Name Impaired,...
Why Art = Scotch
Dear Mann Landers,
I don’t get art - but the girl I’m into likes art. How can I fake being into art… to the point that I can fit in with her artsy friends.
Sincerely,
Art Schfart, in Arizona
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Dear Art Schfart,
Faking that you’re into art is like faking that you’re into...
Botching a compliment (a Botchliment)
Dear Mann Landers,
Tonight I told my girlfriend that I love her curves. Despite my genuine intentions of making a compliment, this comment landed me in a fight, and then landed me on the couch, which is where I am writing this email.
Where did I go wrong?
Sincerely ,
Couch Potato, in Vancouver BC
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Dear Couch...
4 tags
The #1 Thing Guys Do Wrong
Dear Mann Landers,
What is the #1 complaint you hear from ladies about what men are doing wrong? Bad manners? Lame fashion style? Neglected manscaping?
Sincerely,
One Step at a Time, in Tampa Bay
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Dear One Step at a Time,
Sometimes a simple question like yours can offer up the greatest opportunity to...
4 tags
It wasn't you, it was me.
Dear Readers,
I am sorry to have left you all so abruptly. I came into your lives, swept you off your feet and together we became better lovers by sharing laughs. I understand why so many of you wanted more. Please know - It wasn’t you, it was me.
One of the many love lessons I’ve learned in life is that it’s far easier to sneak out while your conquest sleeps, than to face the...
October 2010
4 posts
A Bud-ding Relationship?
Mr. Mann,
I know that this site is mostly for men, actually, just for men but I can’t help myself with noticing that you give great advice. I am in a bit of a situation with a guy I like and I would like some advice from..a guy. Girls can only give so much advice that is actually helpful.
Anyway, i met this guy working at a Kids Camp this summer and we really hit it off. We flirted back and...
Barista Crush
Dear Mann Landers,
I have a crush on my Starbucks barista. I see her every morning, and I often return in the early afternoon to catch her before her shift ends for round two.
We seem to have great chemistry!
How do I get past the customer/barista relationship and transition to a Romeo/Juliet relationship?
Sincerely,
Grande Americano Misto, in Memphis
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An Unexpected Source
Dear Mann Landers,
I would love to meet a great girl, but I feel like I’ve exhausted all contacts within my social networks. You can only ask your friends, or your friends’ girlfriends to keep you in mind for any of their single friends so many times before you get labelled “that guy”.
I’m not crazy about the idea of meeting people online, and I just feel guilty...
The Finishing Game - Part II
Dear Mann Landers,
Let me cut to the chase. I met this girl at a bar the other night and we really hit it off. At the end of the night, I didn’t know what to do – should I move in for a kiss, invite her back to my place, should I grab her hand…? I thought about making a move, but wasn’t really sure she would go for it. What should I have done? What do I do now – is there any way to salvage...
September 2010
10 posts
Helping Hand Hump Day (vol. 23)
Due to the fact that I get many requests each day from fans that are eager to contribute to the Mann Landers Column - I figured it was only fair to give my legion of followers an opportunity to speak their mind.
Every Wednesday, aka “Hump Day”, I’ll be posting a reader’s question on the site and ask that you all lend that poor soul a “Helping Hand” by sharing your advice in the comments section.
...
A Love Funeral
Dear Mann Landers,
I can’t get over a girl that I’ve unsuccessfully chased after for nearly a decade. My friends get annoyed with the whole thing and don’t understand what the big deal is. In my head no one else measures up. As a result I just don’t have any interest in dating anyone else.
How can I get over this girl?
Sincerely,
The One That Got Away, in Lancaster
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Helping Hand Hump Day (vol. 22)
Due to the fact that I get many requests each day from fans that are eager to contribute to the Mann Landers Column - I figured it was only fair to give my legion of followers an opportunity to speak their mind.
Every Wednesday, aka “Hump Day”, I’ll be posting a reader’s question on the site and ask that you all lend that poor soul a “Helping Hand” by sharing your advice in the comments section.
...
Being Premature
Dear Mann Landers,
I was born premature as a baby. Little did I know that that characteristic would follow me throughout my life. Yes …. what I’m getting at is I’m premature in bed. I’m quick.
Any trade secrets to share Mann?
Usain Bolt, in Jamaica
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Dear Usain Bolt,
I’m guessing you’re not...
Regular Everyday Normal Guy
Dear Mann Landers,
I’ve been single for ages. Whether it’s at the bar or at house parties, I always end up feeling invisible. I work at a 9-5 job that is the furthest thing from glamorous and/or interesting. How can I get more girls attention - do I have to just start making shit up to sound interesting?
Sincerely,
Average, in Albany
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Mann Landers Lives!
Dear Readers,
I must apologize for my absence. I’ll admit I’m not a writer by trade, I’m a lover. Being a lover - I never experienced lover’s block. Being a writer I did experience a case of writer’s block.
It meant a lot to get a series of emails from readers expressing their concern for my well being. In answer to their questions:
No I have not taken ill
No I...
Helping Hand Hump Day (vol. 21)
Due to the fact that I get many requests each day from fans that are eager to contribute to the Mann Landers Column - I figured it was only fair to give my legion of followers an opportunity to speak their mind.
Every Wednesday, aka “Hump Day”, I’ll be posting a reader’s question on the site and ask that you all lend that poor soul a “Helping Hand” by sharing your advice in the comments section.
...
August 2010
27 posts
Keeping Your Eyes on the Prize
Dear Mann Landers,
I’ve realized that one of my weaker skills as a player in the game is the pick-up line. Although I’ve set myself up with some phenomenal ice breakers in the past, in all reality I tend to be shy and not trust my well rounded character and appearance. I haven’t mastered the art of charm solely because I lack the creativity to kick off a conversation with that...
Mann to Man: Flip a Coin
I don’t believe in indifference. I get emails from guys (and girls) all the time asking about whether or not they should break-up with their current partner. They typically send a long-winded 5,000 word essay describing every up/down of their storied relationship - and end it with “what should I do?”. What’s my response?
Flip a coin.
This picture illustrates it best...
Dogs vs. Pussies
Dear Mann Landers,
I’ve been crushing on a girl for a long time. Never made a move because I never felt she was interested. We still hung out a fair bit after I came to terms with residing on her friend ladder. Turns out I was wrong, she was interested. I’ve now been labelled a pussy for not making a move. I’m so angry with myself!
Is there anyway that I can shake that label...
Helping Hand Hump Day (vol. 20)
Due to the fact that I get many requests each day from fans that are eager to contribute to the Mann Landers Column - I figured it was only fair to give my legion of followers an opportunity to speak their mind.
Every Wednesday, aka “Hump Day”, I’ll be posting a reader’s question on the site and ask that you all lend that poor soul a “Helping Hand” by sharing your advice in the comments...
Pilots of Comedy Flying Without a Cockpit
Dear Mann Landers,
As a single man, I find myself in many flirting situation. My biggest problem, though, is that I find that few girls able to flirt with me in a way that is as funny as the banter I have with my male friends. I laugh at every exchange with my friends, but few girls are able to compete on that level. What’s the deal? Are all girls not that funny, or am I doing something wrong...
GF's pissed, not sure why?
Dear Mann Landers,
I’m having one of those days where my girlfriend is pissed at me but I don’t know why. I’ve tried to trace my steps but I’m really bad at this stuff - haven’t a clue what she’s so upset about?
Thoughts?
Pulling a Blank, in Pittsburgh
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Dear Pulling a Blank,
Hmmm … it...
Helping Hand Hump Day (vol. 19)
Due to the fact that I get many requests each day from fans that are eager to contribute to the Mann Landers Column - I figured it was only fair to give my legion of followers an opportunity to speak their mind.
Every Wednesday, aka “Hump Day”, I’ll be posting a reader’s question on the site and ask that you all lend that poor soul a “Helping Hand” by sharing your advice in the comments...
Not so Handy Man
Dear Mann Landers,
I moved in with my girlfriend to a modest house that has a lot of “character”. Seems like something new breaks or requires fixing every month. I’m not handy so I keep having to get a repairman come in. I can see my girlfriend losing respect for me as a man each time this happens.
Where do other guys find the time to learn how to fix all this...
Best of Mann Landers: Using the girlfriend’s...
Dear Mann Landers,
Recently, I have been having the most foul smelling bathroom visits. I spend much of my time at my girlfriend’s place who shares an apartment and one bathroom with three other ladies. How can I maintain any genteel credibility while not ignoring the most basic bodily function?
Sincerely,
Backed up, in Dayton
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Best of Mann Landers: A Covert Operation
Dear Mann Landers,
My parents are in the process of renovating my bedroom. For the next month I have to sleep in my sister’s room. The problem is that I am a teenager, and well … I have a big sexual appetite. How do I survive without privacy?! Help!
Sincerely,
In a Sexual Panick, in South Dakota
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Dear In a Sexual Panick,
You...
Best of Mann Landers: The "puppy prop"
Dear Mann Landers,
Have you ever been to the park or walking down the street and noticed the amount of women that will flock to a man with a puppy? It could be pissing rain and a woman will stop dead in her tracks and talk for hours to a man with a puppy?
Why are women so enamoured with puppies? I don’t get it!
Sincerely,
Puppy Love Envy, in San Francisco
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Best of Mann Landers: Easy "breezy" in the windy...
Dear Mann Landers,
I wouldn’t describe myself as an overly gassy man, but like everyone I have good days and bad. I have been seeing a girl for six months now, and passing wind is not part of our relationship. Is there a tactful way to go about farting in front of my girlfriend, so as to cause minimal disruption to our young love? Will my internal discomfort ever be reason enough to make her...
Best of Mann Landers: Guilty of "being perfect"
Dear Mann Landers,
I’m writing to you on what should have been a relaxing Sunday evening. Let me start by stating - I am nothing short of the perfect husband. Honest! I bust my tail at work to ensure that my wife can have the lifestyle she deserves. I handle my fair share of chores around the house. I cook for her. I tickle her back in bed (because it helps her fall asleep). I go to the gym...
Best of Mann Landers: A girl that's "semi" curious
Dear Mann Landers,
Love reading your column - as a woman, I think we’d all be better off if Mann Landers was required reading for every man out there ; )
I thought that you’d be able to answer a question that has plagued me for years. My ex-boyfriend used to get half-erections all the time - at work, in the park, at the pub, etc. It didn’t bother me or anything, but I never understood...
200 Down
I recently surpassed 200 posts here on MannLanders.com. I’ve had over 85,000 people stop by this little corner of the web, and over 6,000 of you have endorsed my column through your connections on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. It’s all exceeded my wildest expectations.
Love (or lust) can impair our judgement more so then even the stiffest drink - which is what makes my job (making...
Phone Use Protocol
Dear Mann Landers,
I was at the bar the other night, when a friend of mine texted me for directions. At the moment I was speaking with a girl, and quickly texted him back before continuing on the conversation. After the text, the girl I was talking to made a joke about how off-side it was to text in the middle of a conversation, but I could tell she was fairly serious. I agree that it would...
Sunday Quickies (vol. 23)
… because there are too many questions and not enough days in the week.
1. I’m having a girl stay over at my place for the first time and want to know the best meal to make her in the morning. Any ideas?
Pancakes (chocolate chip, blueberry or banana) or French toast. Add a side of fresh fruit, orange juice and coffee.
2. I have my parents summer home for the weekend and will be going there...