Due to the fact that I get many requests each day from fans that are eager to contribute to the Mann Landers Column - I figured it was only fair to give my legion of followers an opportunity to speak their mind.

Every Wednesday, aka “Hump Day”, I’ll be posting a reader’s question on the site and ask that you all lend that poor soul a “Helping Hand” by sharing your advice in the comments section.

I continue to look forward to reading your insights and perspectives each week - this is your shot to lend a “Helping Hand”.  Without further adieu…

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ok heres the situation… 

theres this girl whos writing to me on myspace. n i just met her, dont know how she found me but w.e but she writes to me saying hey nice body n that im cute n shes only 4hrs away n she ask me what im doing this weekend and if i wanted to hang out i said ya,  like well have fun n such, then she writes well sex included?

btw i have a girlfriend in korea, n my gf is pretty noisy n she actually tried to have one of her friends try to get with me over a text message once, but like today she said she changed her ways n that i can talk to girls again n basically she doesnt care as long as i dont do anything, soo what do u think about this situation.. the myspace girl made myspacelike yesterday n only has 4 friends n one of them is me..

Dear Mann Landers,

I’ve realized that one of my weaker skills as a player in the game is the pick-up line. Although I’ve set myself up with some phenomenal ice breakers in the past, in all reality I tend to be shy and not trust my well rounded character and appearance. I haven’t mastered the art of charm solely because I lack the creativity to kick off a conversation with that pretty lady at the front desk, the cute but quiet cashier, the sexy runner beside me at the gym. The reward: her number, the requirement: a way with words. A few of the lines you’ve successfully used in the past would be nice, but your advice on how to brainstorm, by yourself, dialog unique to the situation would be even more appreciated. 

Sincerely,

Speechless, in Ohio 

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Dear Speechless,  

Here’s your real problem: you’re keeping your eye on the prize. 

I know, you’ve been told your entire life that focus is a good thing and will lead to success.  This is often true, and if you are looking for the most efficient and effective ways of picking up girls, books like The Game will provide you with proven pick-up strategies.   

Personally, however, I think that keeping your eyes on the prize can be a mistake in the dating world.  Following a pick-up formula might increase your success, but it also takes the fun out of meeting people.  By focusing on getting a number, you’ll risk losing the chance to actually, you know, get to know someone. 

That aside, let me reveal something: That pretty girl at the front desk gets hit on by every guy who walks through the office, and the sexy runner at the gym has thought about cancelling her membership because of all the pick-up lines dropped on her.  If you think you’re about to run game on her she hasn’t yet heard, you might be surprised.  The best strategy you can employ is to be real, say something genuine, and don’t measure success in black and white (phone number/no phone number).  There’s no need to put so much pressure on yourself when you’re just being yourself, and enjoying yourself as you meet new people.  The phone numbers will come, but you shouldn’t view them as the be all, end all. 

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers

I don’t believe in indifference. I get emails from guys (and girls) all the time asking about whether or not they should break-up with their current partner. They typically send a long-winded 5,000 word essay describing every up/down of their storied relationship - and end it with “what should I do?”.  What’s my response?

Flip a coin.

This picture illustrates it best … There is no indifference when it comes to matters of the heart.

I’m here to give light-hearted advice, not make decisions. 

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers

Dear Mann Landers,

I’ve been crushing on a girl for a long time. Never made a move because I never felt she was interested. We still hung out a fair bit after I came to terms with residing on her friend ladder. Turns out I was wrong, she was interested. I’ve now been labelled a pussy for not making a move. I’m so angry with myself!

Is there anyway that I can shake that label with this girl?

Labelled, in Lexington

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Dear Labelled,

No. You can’t shake it. You’re definitely a pussy.

But wait! That’s not necessarily a bad thing. There are two types of guys in the world: Dogs & Pussies.

Dogs: these guys take any interaction with a girl as though it’s a green light to hump their leg. Sometimes they’re right and they get the girl. Sometimes they’re wrong, and the girl scolds them. Even when scolded it doesn’t effect these guys, because as we know - dogs have a short term memory of only 3-5 seconds. 

Pussies: these guys are much more complex & calculating creatures. They know exactly what they want, and are very thorough in studying the object of their affection prior to pouncing. Pussies are very independent animals, and can come across a tad cold at times, but once they find a situation that makes them purr, they’re not going anywhere.

So if you’re a pussy - don’t sweat it. Just find a girl that is a cat person.

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers

Due to the fact that I get many requests each day from fans that are eager to contribute to the Mann Landers Column - I figured it was only fair to give my legion of followers an opportunity to speak their mind.

Every Wednesday, aka “Hump Day”, I’ll be posting a reader’s question on the site and ask that you all lend that poor soul a “Helping Hand” by sharing your advice in the comments section.

I continue to look forward to reading your insights and perspectives each week - this is your shot to lend a “Helping Hand”.  Without further adieu…

***************************************************************

Dear Mann Landers,

A good friend of mine has recently broken up with her long time boyfriend. As we grew up we did alot of activities together and as we got to college we drifted apart. The thing is I had a crush on this girl for quite a while and since we started hanging out again this summer those feelings have started to creep up.

My question is, how should I go about this now that she is single again?

Sincerely,

On the Bench, in  the 10,000 lakes.

Dear Mann Landers,

As a single man, I find myself in many flirting situation. My biggest problem, though, is that I find that few girls able to flirt with me in a way that is as funny as the banter I have with my male friends. I laugh at every exchange with my friends, but few girls are able to compete on that level. What’s the deal? Are all girls not that funny, or am I doing something wrong here?

Sincerely,

Humour Me in Halifax

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Dear Humour Me,

This is a classic problem. Your male friends may make you laugh like no one else, and yet you are drawn to a mystical creature they do not own – the vaginer.

I have heard many guys bemoan that women are simply not as funny as their male friends. This might be true, but keep in mind that you have spent many years filtering and selecting your friends. It has likely taken you years to audition numerous characters, and selectively surround yourself by the people that are similar to you and have the most similar senses of humour. The chances that you will run into a random guy you can banter with, like you do your friends, isn’t very high.

Finding a girl like that? Well, let’s be honest… Their senses of humour are often different. They likely don’t think Will Ferrell or Jackass is as funny as you do, just as I suspect you don’t find Bridget Jones’s Diary as funny as they do. Yes, I am aware that this is a massive generalization, but different life experiences will breed different senses of humour.  (I am even tempted to argue that most men are more likely to pleasure themselves to BJD than laugh at it… but I won’t).

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be on the lookout for someone you can laugh with – I certainly believe that’s important. But, looking for a lady that is as funny as your best guy friends? Well, consider that your friends’ offering in place of having those special naughty bits.

You’re welcome,

Mann Landers